The up side to living in a place so empty is if there is no one playing music, you learn how to listen to the trees. If there is no art, you learn to see the beauty in the trash cans, the plastic bags, the blurred faces. If there is no one telling you they love you, you silently question yourself into spirals, or find it in the dirt. My fingernails are clotted. My head: fluid. My face lighted by friction of grinding teeth. I will knock myself over when I'm ready, and trees will grow from my dust long after they've thrown me away.