I am not who I seem I will never be that girl from your dream.
If you start to care You'll see what isn't there You will see past that girl who wears black and scowled at pink and dresses Wants to be a rebel Wants to be a badass Wants to be cool You will learn to see past that exterior You will know I'm not all attitude and insults You will realize that that girl who cusses and fights isn't all there is
Then maybe you'll see deeper. There's another girl One who wants to dress up Feel pretty Wants to be a princess Someone who wants to be like the people she admires A little girl who wants to be cute with a guy Someone who wants to skip around and be one of those lead people in the movies Someone who cares Loves Laughs Appreciates beauty in butterflies Tries to help her friends Loves very easily and quickly Deep down you'll see that I'm actually a fragile softie who cares too quickly Gets hurt too easily And apologizes too much.
Even below that is the person who is unhappy The one who is self hate Stupidity Recklessness Self-destruction The little sad girl that slits her skin and cries herself to sleep
But maybe I you manage to survive all that without letting all my **** destroy you (like it has so many others) Then maybe Just maybe You'll get to meet Them The part of me that created the 5 minute death game The part that looked up how to tie a noose And the one that collects pills The self torturous part Not just the fel pitying part
And then maybe if you manage to get through all of that you will find my heart Cut up Shattered Bruised Scarred Stitched And infected Chained to the walls I build around myself Pulling me apart The heart that has bullet holes and battle wounds The one leaving blood stains on what was my soul The black mass of hell that is at the center of my being. An if you're stupid enough, you'll make me love you.
But to be honest , I don't know who the **** I am.