5:45 am. promise me, you won't do anything stupid. okay mom, i get it. no smoking, no drinking. i have to get going. NOW.
8:00 am. look what we got for us!, she says. as we climb onto the bus J.D and a pack of cigs. nothing to hesitate about, we're no longer kids!
11:00 am. puff i taste the filter- with care. puff heavy lumps on my throat as i fight to find some air. puff my tiny lungs bloat, still fighting for air. puff i resist. imagining how much mom would be ******.
4:00 pm. i'm almost on my fourth. puff. i let go. puff. let it get to me, slowly. puff. let it do its magic. puff. and let it **** me inside, slowly.
my first ever smoke.
been there. done that. not doing it again, hopefully.