I keep sticking things
Down my throat
Like being
Skinnier
Will make them
See that I'm not
That bad for her

I keep stabbing blades
Into my stomach
Like if I
Pretend
To be okay
She might
Come back after
The break

I keep throwing
***** and orange juice
Down my
Throat
Like if I'm drunk
Enough I'll
Come up with
The right words
You need to hear

I keep smoking
All of this
****
Like if I get
High enough
I won't have to
Think about
Her leaving me

I keep dreaming
Of doing all
Of these
Things
Like if I dream
I did it enough
Times I could
Make sense
As to why I
Have to stop