I'm disgusted* by how you plaster on smiles,
By how you laugh too hard and too much to keep the tears at bay.
By how you can walk on for miles and miles,
Alone or in a crowd, with not a word to say.

I'm disgusted by how you're strong for others,
But weak for yourself.
By how you look in every man a father or a brother,
Some sort of safety in a lover, whom you leave without so much as a farewell.

I'm disgusted by how you can wake up one day and no longer care,
By how you leave hearts as shattered and as broken as yours.
By how you ask yourself why life isn't fair,
While you play and play until you get bored.

I'm disgusted by how you hate pain,
But take to your skin at any given chance.
By how you look for something or someone to blame,
Knowing good and well you're the reason for your own constant relapse.

I want to change how I look at myself,
But the image couldn't be any clearer.
These thoughts manifest themselves,
*I'm disgusted by what I see in the mirror.