I have a thousand little voices going on in my head at any given time and I filter them how I choose I guess.
There are a few very persistent ones, however, that it looks like I will either have to start listening to, or beat the **** out of , but I haven't decided which yet.
Yes, yes, everything seems to be going status quo, but I am still standing exactly where I was ages ago. Lost in the middle of nowhere, with no seeming destination of any kind.
I keep waiting for everything to fall into place , waiting on certainty, but it never comes.
I keep pushing for it though, and it feels like it hates my pushing because once I start to fix my way on something, I get pushed back.
Little pinches really, voices that say, "Stop kidding yourself!"
I don't feel connected to anything ....not one single thing anymore.
It's just me out here paddling a ******* canoe in a circle.
I think once I get used to it..I can be ok with that..maybe.
All I know is nothing fits...not anymore...I have 2 left shoes in different colors and sizes and no feet to put them on anyhow.  Who really cares, anyway?    Ok ...off to church now!