I walk in the front door after not seeing you for nearly three months I see your eyes wander my body head to toe as if there was an expired inspection sticker plastered on my forehead One of the first things you ask me is, "Hows that diet going?" I could see it in your expression when I seriously say to you that I am a full figured woman and I'm proud You simply stared into my eyes letting me know that isn't a good thing.
Once upon a time you thought I was beautiful When my skin was tightly stretched across my olive skin collarbones like a razors edge hip bones like a needles point In your eyes I was perfect My heart told me I was beautiful The mirror in my mind told me I was too big to be beautiful So here you are, knocking me down, piece by piece Telling me the same things my brain did. Saying that I should just stop eating Left trying to sew back the broken pieces of my self esteem with these dull needles.
Your words replay in my mind like a broken record "I'm not even asking you to be skinny." Rolls off your tongue like poison in not only your mouth but your eyes when you look at me. Skinny, that word makes my bones jello and my skin crawl Skinny, the adjective that you so badly want me to be described as. Skinny, makes summer and laughing with boys a lot easier Skinny, would make eating less of a guilt thing and more of a survival thing Skinny is what you want me to be. Let me tell you that looking like a plastic make-believe children’s toy is not the definition of beautiful Just remember, Bones are for dogs, and meat is for men.