I'm not crazy, I swear
I just notice everything you do, okay?
and these poems are unfiltered nonsense
pure emotion
that hold no factual basis
and even if you aren't avoiding me
it still feels like it
and I'm not crazy
I just don't like when someone who
I've had a secure friendship with
for 8 months
suddenly becomes less than an acquaintance.
it hurts. like there's a piece of me missing.
and fine, I get it,
if you need a break.
this will be your third break weekend.
maybe you made the decision to dislike me
but really, I haven't seen you ever dislike someone this much
in the way you behave towards me.
please, take your ******* break,
take your whole life as a break away from me,
please,
as long as you're happy.
I want you to be happy.
so just because I have feelings for you
doesn't mean I'm gonna do anything about it
or try and make you feel uncomfortable
because I've felt this way for a while
and you didn't seem to be uncomfortable the whole time.
I want you to be happy, so
I'll keep my distance, fine
I'll deal with it- I'm dealing every day
training myself to not care and to not notice
as if you're just another of my friends
but you're still always in my peripheral vision
like a rock in your shoe
you might not be consciously thinking about it
but you know it's there.
I'm sorry I feel this way about you
and I'm doing my best to fix it
so we can go back to having an actual relationship
without it being weird.
I'm not crazy, I swear
but it's hard to orient yourself
when your head is spinning
under,
over,
and around
your heels.