"Did you see that girl over there?
She, like, totally had that boy on a leash."

Now tell me, brainy poets of Hello Poetry,
if this quote appears to be spoken by an intelligent person.
With the addition of the word "like,"
we transform our normal sentences
into a garbage heap of plastic Barbie doll
splatter.
Even the emphasis changes from "totally" to "like!"

Also, that little brainfart before the adjective needs to stop happening!
We are already a culture developing that
grand pause that is present in great pieces of music.
The problem is, that grand pause is in
EVERY SENTENCE!

So next time you say "like" in a sentence,
*make sure it's a simile.