rotten
I am lost in thought
a better version of myself
fallen in the cotton
bought in to the game
the books in the flame
now only the memory remains.

I see you shifting in your seat,
getting comfortable?
I see you sounding out my name,
getting uneasy?
I'll sit across from you some day
and stop apologize for breaking.

I know there's more than enough material
and the sewing kit's been drawn out, so I'll
stop all of this repeating and return to ink,
no more cheating.

It's wrong when it's right, it's like numbers
held too tight, squeezing fractions of my might
when I love too much, I bite.

vegetarian by day,
carnivorous by night.

all the apples see me bleeding
with the ink between my teeth,
ask me which one I want to drop
and before answering, shake the tree
my strength is unknown and the branches they break
like a knot in a spine, or getting cut up
                                                                ­  and left behind.
I said I tried
and I tried,
not to cry
or to fake it.
I got lost in the crowd
got too loud,
then lost sound,
lost and found, not all was lost,
but the cost still hurt and struck
me down, like lightning in the eye,
he hadn't seen me die,
turn around
I'm still alive.