i don't know if i am proud that he loved me first or jealous because he liked you last. some selfish part of me still hopes that when i see him next he will tell me that it's always been me, even though i know i'd be too scared to say it to him, and he deserves better than that. i thought maybe you could be that for him, but you left too, and honestly, i'm furious that you're not coming back
i don't even know what she looked like but she's dead and i am scared