I knew it was coming
The inevitable slowly crawling up my legs
Always an Elephant in the room whenever I visited
Whispering words of encouragement in your ear
Murmuring “I love you”, it was just for you to hear
I thought, in the Autumn when everything seemed to hit rock bottom
Maybe in the Spring when your cheeks sunk in-while life was supposed to start, of all things
You perked up in the Summer, soaking up the heat just like a flower and became strong again
Alas, we came full circle; Autumn was finally back, bringing your spirits down with the leaves
I knew it was coming

The days became shorter, my hope wearing thin
Visits were becoming a weekly occurrence
My prayers altered
Trying to figure what would be best
Should you let go of your pain or keep on trooping?
I knew it was coming

In the morning, hearing the news
Memories began to play in my mind
Teaching me how to fish. Shock
Showing me how to be brave. Denial
Telling me stories of your past. Numbness
Days before, you told me I was beautiful. Shock
Wearing the locket you gave me. Longing
I knew it was coming

Silence covered the house like a soft blanket
Reflecting on my past with you
Going on a run
remembering the good times and the bad
Where the December rain mixes with my tears
I knew it was coming

The big day
Family coming in the worst way
Meeting your high school partner in crime, your cousins, your neighbors
Learning about your past
Riding a bike backwards
Swimming two and a half laps without taking a breath
Becoming the best father in the world
The best grandfather
Your last words “I’m ready to go.”
I knew it was coming

But I told myself over and over:
Not this year
Not this week
Not today
Not now

But finally, it came