grip slipping like a drip from the roof
so aloof to the truth
the feel of skin
the need to puke
that trick licking the ***** held in hands
***** with sand
that night of lighting bright smiles on faces
isn't it grand
the races
and the places you haven't been

that fluke you saw
that wall so tall
i built on stilts
spilled from inside my mind
to the outer confines
you were there
you noticed
i dyed my hair
i wrote this
maybe you'd see
i don't just live for me
i know i can't
candy-coat this
but i wish you could have seen
the way you smiled in that dream
when you saw my imperfections,
all lined up like a collection
of books or toy soldiers,
you looked and your eyes smoldered
then you kissed me
and you said you missed me

it seems
that my dreams
have a sense of humor

but i digress
i confess
i'm a mess
not my best
i need rest