Depends

Woke up, took my morning ****,
the toilet bowl, I sure did miss.
****** on the tile floor,
leaked to the bathroom door.
****** on my feet,
some made it to the seat.
Cleaned up and took a shower,
feels like I lost a special power.
****** again but on the curtain,
my ***** control, I lost for certain.
I guess it's time to **** sitting down,
then I noticed that my underwear was brown.
It was a massive skid mark,
hard to see when it's dark.
I guess it's time for Depends,
my man hood, I will defends.
Maybe this is just a phase,
my underwear, I set a blaze.
I hope this is a temporary problem,
this is making me feel less awesome.
Last night I **** and ****** my bed,
I bought a gun, cause I'd rather be dead.