my brain has been gathering clouds for the past week and today was the day that it decided to rain out of my blue eyes that nobody ever comments because they aren't extraordinary or complicated they're just dull and occasionally blood shot from *** and i keep thinking about how much i want to live in an apartment by myself where he could come over whenever i needed him to and i could feel the curve of his back and him breathing heavily because my head is on his chest, but then i think about it too hard and sometimes it hurts and i stop breathing for a second but i could never tell him that either like i could never tell him that whenever i hear artists he likes on the radio it reminds me of him and how much i want to hold him or that i someday hope he notices the scars on my thighs that were placed by a depressed version of me, the one that only she saw and knew and could fix but i also want to tell you that i think it is strange that people say their favorite part of the day is either morning or night nobody ever acknowledges the fact that 4:08 pm could be a very lonely time too like you and that if you tell me the little things about you that i will most likely love you or possibly fall in love with you like i did with her