In the shower
When I am alone
With the water
And only me.
I should be standing tall
But instead I find a tiny boy
Crouched
And crying tears
that sting hotter than
The water meant to be cleaning
Off the salt
Of a turbulent
Tossing sea.

I find a shadow of my daily self
A weak and lonesome man
Who cannot stand
To hold his chin high
A man who cannot stand
To smile bright
A lost boy
Crying
In the cubicle
His confidence
Missing
His course listing
Upon this cruel and violent sea.

This is me,
This lying man
Who smiles by day
And cries by night
This is me
This constant fight
To love myself
And love thy neighbour.

Small boy
Squatting.
Disgust
Rotting him
from stern to bow.
He doesn’t know how
To stem the tears
Release the fears
As if they were hounds
And could chase away
The badness.

This sadness
Overwhelms
And burning tears
scratch his face.
He is disgrace
Released,
Displaced,
Alone.