It starts off rather slowly, when you realize that it all is crashing down on you
like a huge tidal wave you aren't prepared for. It falls on you like the rain when you
conveniently forget to bring an umbrella, so you can feel every little drop hit you
or that mind of yours that seems to attack itself in the infestation of its thoughts.

It doesn't really rise above a snail pace, this feeling. I try so hard each day to forget about
you and every aspect of you, from your stupid eyes to your stupid shoes, but all I can
really do is look down and try to mind my own business -- you can't escape the rain and you
can't keep it from falling.

Sometimes I even feel like you are the rain and I am the helpless walker, because I don't
even think fate would be this merciless on me. Each of your words leave your mouth like thunder, your eyes are the lightening and your actions are the clouds hanging over me
that just fill up with all the silence we have until eventually it rains -- even clouds give up.

Well let me tell you something, buddy. I wish you could look me in the eyes and let me go,
and release me from this imaginary grasp that you don't see but I sure as ******* hell feel. I
feel it every day and I have felt it for over a month and you are holding me hostage and just **** me -- I no longer am capable of being a prisoner.

Prisoners are treated ******* better than you're treating me. To strangers you are sweet,
kind, caring, still handsome, but they don't realize that normality is what's causing my own fatality. How can you pretend? At least police don't pretend a criminal didn't commit the crime. You're forgetting your role -- you should not be acting. I should be acting.

Take that knife and dig it into my shackles, stop digging it into my chest deeper and deeper. When I try to forget you you're right there, a smile and another twist of the weapon. I feel some kind of tightening in my chest but it doesn't seem to bother anyone but me. Are you aware you're smiling while you're killing me? I should have known.