All around me people are self-loathing, self-degrading, self-medicating

& I'm over here like, where's my ******* crutch?

Months clean without a fresh cut, so where's my release from this pain inside?

Imagine living with a family of addicts..
Pills, ***, & ****** are on the menu tonight & I'm left starving.
There's no place in this broken down house for someone like me who's kept her nose clean.

I am 1 of 8 addicts & tonight's a night that I simply can't take it anymore.
Tonight is a night where I am not proud, rather I am disgusted & almost ashamed to admit any of these facts.
Tonight's a night I cower in the public eye for fear of them noticing just who they are..just who I am.
I'm disgusted that THIS is what my family has become.. Nothing more than opiates & needles & razors & pure ******* insanity.

I am not proud tonight.
I am hurt
& disappointed.