It was hard to be happy.
Harder to stay happy.
Too much work.
Easier to be sad.
Or miserable.
So I was.
I committed to it.
Stopped pursuing happiness
Even though the constitution says I have a right to it.

I grew to enjoy my misery.
Convinced myself it was what I wanted.
Got used to being alone.
Numbed myself to bliss.

And then you.
Not even anesthesia could numb me after you.