Do they all leave or do I push them?
I say that nobody is dependable that all go at some point.
Look at me.
My mom, an abusive sociopathic ***** and my dad, a narcissistic drunk.
No wonder my love life is sour.
No wonder I don't trust.
I'd rather **** and be done then love and be hurt.
Betrayal.
Do you think it's possible that I'll ever love and not be hurt?
Do I betray others?
I told him. Jordan. I told him at the beginning about me. About how everybody leaves and it's because of me.
But he gave me pinkie promises and listened to me when I cried.
And I maybe lost my virginity to him. And we spent most nights of our year plus relationship together. And then my mom skipped town and he broke up with me.
Why did you guys leave?
I'll be better. I promise. I promise. *******. I promise. Please please please please.  
And I pulled a razor against my skin and I had been good for so long.
Guess I betrayed myself too.
I have the word **** on my wrist. It used to say love.
But that left too.