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Sep 2010
Born of love
one likes to think
They never told you

Actions speak louder than words

Their actions told of no love unspoken
But instead
of resentment and anger
that you came into the world

Like a broken record

You didn't understand
You thought it all a mistake
They didn't belong to you
You came from someone else

But that was just denial
You didn't want to believe
that those who brought you forth
could be so cruel

"Sticks and stones will break my bones
but words will never hurt me."
Childhood mantra

Lies

Words strike the deepest wound
Cut through the layers
no wall impenetrable

Imprinted
in permanent ink

Or so you thought

Time moves on
death
age
illness
change the matrix

In your darkest hour
you think
"Can I forgive?
Can I forget?"

And then the demons came
travelling on the wings of death

A seemingly endless
drug-induced battle against illness
surgery on surgery
medevacs

"Come on," you say
"I can beat you all."

Bravado
but actually the truth

Demons equal rubbers

Triumph over them...
patterns, imprints erased

Enter step mother - stage right
Rug pulled
world upside down again

But you allowed it

Time stops for no man
Or woman
Age
More surgery

Mirrors

Thankful for all past events
They molded you
to the person you are

Give thanks with open heart
to he and she
For all their deeds

Their words didn't hurt you
They fertilised you
You blossomed

Build the bridge

He is old
He is your father
No denying it

Tell him you love him
With unfettered heart
And forgiveness in your voice

Be
© Jacqueline Le Sueur 2010 All Rights Reserved
https://www.jacquelinelesueur.com/post/on-the-matter-of-choice

(written in 2005)
Jacqueline Le Sueur
Written by
Jacqueline Le Sueur
705
 
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