I wish I didn't fear you.
And I don't, when you're here.
Or maybe I do.
Maybe that is why I shiver when you touch me,
And melt when you look at me.
But when you're so far away...
It's different.
It's sharper.
No matter what you are saying to me,
Your words are like a knife's edge
Cold against my neck.
And what follows could be
The giddiness of having narrowly escaped death
Or the shocked, stomach lurching betrayal of receiving it
But there is nothing calm about speaking with you,
Not
Anymore.
I wish it were otherwise.
I wish I could say you comfort me from far away
Like you do when I am in your arms
But