Is it bad that I feel lonely?
Is it bad that even though I am not alone,
I long for company,
I just don't know whose.
Is it bad I'd rather sit on my floor,
look at the wall and feel the world around me move,
but feel so still in all of these bright, false colors.
Is it bad that I want to be alone,
but not lonely?
I want to run away.
It's happening again,
I've been feeling it coming for so long,
but warded it away.
It's coming on to me so quickly now..
the broken glass on the floor,
the bite of the razor,
the cold water and wet clothes,
the music and voices no one else can hear.
I want you, who used to always notice,
notice me now in this state.
I thought you would see the signs...
but you haven't...so I'm alone again.
Should've known.
It's okay, though. It's happened before,
I'll leave you alone now.
I'll run away on my own,
and keep being alone and lonely,
because it's better than feeling falsely loved.
It's okay, I'm used to it.
No fault of yours.