I love you and i'm sorry i'm always an anxious mess
I know i'm kind of your rock so it must be tough to see me like this and i know you'll be mad at me for saying that
because i told you once that you're only human and you can't carry the weight of the world on your shoulders but
I want you to know that i'm carrying your world on my shoulders
so I can make sure its perfect and happy for you
so you no longer have to worry about your disgusting step dad
or your not there father
because you don't deserve these things
and it's the only way I know how to make you happy
because being only human is stressful
I only have a limited amount of years to make sure there's as little bad in your life as humanly possible
and I've decided to take that on and since this is the last thing i'm saying to you i'd like to think that even though it might be selfish
that I made your world a little better and even if this is the last thing ill say to you
I want you to know a little piece of your world will be with me always because 5 years of getting to someones heart is hard to forget
and I swear that every time I meet someone new i'll look for a little bit of you in them subconsciously
and my mother will seem more evil since you're not there to talk her down to me
and my life will continue but almost as if someone made the sky dimmer
and lizards will make me sad
without you i'll never watch a 3 hour movie again without crying no matter what it is
i'm sorry for all the sad stuff but I need you to know because it's better to get it out than to leave you wondering
‘what does he think of me?’
because it could never be anything bad and this is the last time that i'm talking to you but maybe you could think back on my advice through our time together and try to get yourself through things
i'm sorry for anything stupid I've ever said or done and
I love you more than you could even imagine