I want to shed the weight off
thinner thighs, hips, legs, arms
I'm not fat, just out of shape
and I wear the extra skin,
watch the fabric of my clothes stretch
disgustingly over my body
I eat healthy now, and I run and run
and exercise every day, something different
I want to be fit when I meet my heroes
in 3 weeks
I've been drinking green drinks
I've been drinking orange red drinks
made by my hand held blender
The app on my phone says,
If I keep eating like I do,
I'll weight 113 pounds in 5 weeks
but it's not enough
and I push myself until
I want to collapse
it's still not enough
because I'm 5'3 (and a half)
and most girls my height are more dainty than me
but I don't want to go three days without eating
four days without sleeping because I worry about my weight
binge eating and giving up my food
because I won't be that person again
it never worked
I just wish I was not made out of numbers