Last night ,
I smoked my first cigarette .
like a newborn holding his first milk bottle ,
I didn't know how to hold it right.

I did it in hopes to forget ,
erase the memories ,
burn them
by filling my lungs with smoke
just the way you breathed your love into me.

As I let the fumes escape through my lips,
an illusion of you formed in front of me .
but soon the smoke scatters to air.

I thought I smoked your memory away ,
but  I left with a smell that will remind me
of my failing attempts .