"Just make sure you're guarding your heart" she says right before she takes a sip of her latte with the bible in between us opened up to the book of Proverbs. This isn't the first time I've heard that phrase. And quiet frankly..its beginning to make me cringe. Because for someone like me, that is one of the hardest tasks you can challenge me with. I am an open book-I have been my whole life, and while some say my vulnerability "inspires them," I don't think they understand the consequences I face daily because of it. Because my heart has been dormant and neglected for almost 20 years-all that it wants to do is give itself away..to anyone and everyone. No matter how many times it has been broken, no matter how many times its been twisted and manipulated by the world it still continues to give itself away.

When will the pain be too much to where this heart of mine turns to ice?
When will the walls build up without ever coming down?
When will I learn?