kiss my sorry *** and imagine a differential. divide it by two, see? this will give you the circumference of existential convulsion; you will see past the freaky book you can't read for lack of knowing and how absurdism scares you if you believe it. that's why you dropped The Myth of Sisyphus part-way through cuz what came to mind with all the drippy Dali-mentalscape spa of shread-dread WHATSyness! was Camus coming to so many a pessimists ending he had to turn it last second to say 'but in the end, we must assume that Sisyphus is happy' and all you see in your minds-eye is pursuit of this absurdist paradise for nervous thought-drawn chain -smokers is a gun to your head with one last glance at the ocean.