Feel like I'm being buried in a mound of ******.
Scratch that- a mountain of ******.
Black tar mud, disgusting love.
And,
I feel like I'm trying to find a straw in the middle
Of a razorblade stack-
A single straw of hope.
So **** this, basically.
If I could, I would.
Honestly
I would smoke black,
Bleed red,
Fade out and see silver.
Drift into the oblivion of my mind...
Feel like I'm hiding from myself
by trying to deny these feelings.
I can't quite describe my morbid desire for
******, and cutting.
And maybe it's because
All I ever wanted
Was to cut myself while strung out.
And maybe one day,
I'll finally do both those things
At the same time.
All of reality would freeze-
A blissful utopia...
And in that moment,
I would feel *peace.