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Feb 2014
Dear Friend,
It's been a long time since we last talked
I just wanted you to know I'm trying
Did you hear that?
I'm trying
I'm trying so hard you lousy *****
I'm trying because you told me I wasn't
But you've probably forgotten that, haven't you?
But friend, you'll never know how those words felt
Like ice and salt pressed to my skin until they left a scar
A scar that always screams to me I'm not trying hard enough
Because I always wanted to be good enough for you
I always wanted to be perfect enough for you
I always wanted to be enough
For you
But writing this letter I realize I never will be
Because you probably won't even read this
Maybe if I wrote this in my own ******* blood would you pay attention
Because then you'd know it's from the heart
But no, you'll just continue to talk about yourself
Your problems
Your life
You, you, you, you, you
But that's not good enough
And maybe I'm not the one not trying hard enough
Maybe it's you
Maybe you're not trying hard enough to be a decent person
Now the tables have turned
So I'll say it one last time
Dear Friend,
I now wonder what those 6 little letters mean when I write them down on paper
Is it possible I'm not trying hard enough to understand them?
Alex Hedly
Written by
Alex Hedly
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