I remember the first time you leaned in to kiss me,

The way you held my waist gave me faith,
And I could recite the words on your lips with the same fluency a priest could recite prayers,

I remember how the taste of cigarette butts and addiction told me more about your sins than your words ever could,
And the skin of your fingers and how you held my hand as if it could've would've cured your depression,

Your touch against my skin felt like wedding vows in front of a priest,
Yet my hand trembled like a Saturday stripper at Sunday mass and not even god himself could stop it,

The way your body looked that night gave meaning to the word "miracle",
And how heavenly you looked under the moonlight could make a Christian want to be loyal to someone other than Jesus Christ,

My dear, I hear your voice behind the religious advice my parents gave me, "she's no good for you, she's no good for you",
And I remember how we drowned all the memorized bible verses in alcohol and sweat,

I still remember how I knew that you'd be leaving and how I wept into god's fists, "don't let me fall in love, don't let me fall in love",
And how we'd always find a way to sin, no matter the countless efforts made by nuns,

I remember how you smiled in between kisses, like 7 year old footsies at mass,
And I can hear the silence in the confessionary booth, and how I wanted to kiss you for a thousand light years,

I promised I wouldn't let it fall a p a r t, like god promised when he made the rainbow,
Yet the rainbow looks more familiar than you now a days,

So, dear, no matter how we fell apart nevertheless, I hold you sweetly in my ocean, like rosaries stuck in between pages,
And I never doubted you how I doubted whether god would help me through  nights like these,

And if god gave me this soul,
I will repay him by loving you with all of it,

And I will never forget how your lips danced while you told me you would kiss me till the end,
But those same lips would grow arms and shut the doors into heaven closed