If you ever asked me,
"How do you feel about her?"
I wouldn't have a clear answer,
I'd probably tell you something simple like,
"Oh, I love her"
or "I want to **** her and she's
super duper hot"
but at the same time, "my church says that's a sin to want that
and I'm not sure what God wants from me
and to the best of my knowledge, He needs me for some great purpose
beyond loving one person
and I can't squander my future on her"
and "also I hurt everything I love"
so "I'm scared to love her because I'm scared
she'll think I'm creepy or crazy"
and "she's not even into relationships and doesn't think that's important
so I don't even know if a relationship would work"
and "my parents would be fine with it"
but "her family wouldn't be okay with it"
and "we live in such a hard time for acceptance that
if I went outside and held her hand, someone could **** us,
literally"
or maybe I'd tell you that "I'm fighting my feelings every day
and it's a cross I must bear"
and "I'm better off being a nun than falling for people I can't have"
and maybe I'd tell you that "all these complicated feelings,
dwarf in comparison to the huge, overarching,
powerful amount of love
I have for her,"
how "every day I would wake up next to her
and I would put on my shining armor
take my cross up from beside the dresser
burn my bridges on the way to work
if that's what she wanted."

Yeah. I'd probably tell you that last bit.