I am at war with this water.
I understand its use in this world
I adore its beauty
the feeling
the smell
yet I lash out to it.
I fear I’ll be swept off to drown
to die trashing
as an injured animal.
But most of all
It serves as a constant reminder I have not grown.
As much as I portray myself to be strong
calm
and collected.
I am still the small child terrified of water that I once was all those years ago.
Every time I feel despair and pained from this world
I am drowning on the inside once again,
with no one to notice
no one to help
while I slip away into the darkness
never to be seen.
It seems as though I cannot escape the water
No matter how far I run from the sea,
The water travels within the darkness
and sinks right back into me.