I've been putting my
2 year old knots
up in a bun
with the loose hair
falling out like
spider limbs
for a few weeks now
hiding
my strength
behind a scarf
and sunglasses
hoping that maybe this
will disappear and leave
me alone
even though
that is the last thing I want to be
I've been hiding from you
by sleeping with my back
to the sky
and my
face buried in the sand

and today
I've started
to actually
listen
when I think
and hear
what I pretend
when I speak