It's raining.
I knew it would today,
long before the sun slipped behind
the slowly darkening clouds.
I could feel it when I awoke
from a sleep filled with nightmares
of all my worst memories.
Sweat soaked me
like I had been in a torrential downpour,
and I knew instantly that today,
rain would rush down from the heavens
like a never-ending waterfall.
I don't know how I knew,
but I did.

Rays of sun beamed down
as I stepped outside
only hours ago.
And now it is raining,
and I step outside again,
cautious at first;
But then I leap into the sodden grass,
which soaked up every drop
like its life depended on it,
like it would be its last.
I soaked them up too,
as if they were my lifeline.

It was only a light shower at first,
but quickly the drops turned into
streams of frigid water,
a river falling from the sky.
I faced it head on,
letting it drench my face,
my hair,
my clothes,
which clung to my body
like a second layer of skin.
But it was not uncomfortable,
unpleasant,
nor even cold.
It filled my body with a warmth
that the sun hadn't given me in years.

For so long I felt nothing,
only guilt, anger, sadness...
Nothing good, no gladness.
Life meant little to me.
I was never a very good person,
but I tried to change.
I really tried.
Yet still, the guilt stuck to me
like glue,
or the gum you can't get off your shoe.
The days blended together,
and time lost all meaning.
But today, everything changes.
Everything will be different.

It's raining,
and the drops are cleansing me of my sins,
setting me free,
letting go of my guilt, my past, for me.
I feel rejuvenated,
restored,
revived,
like once again
I can thrive,
for at last
I've been purified,
cleansed of my old ways,
of my bad side.
From this day forth
I'll have nothing to hide.

And still the rain falls,
more gently, now,
and I smile for the first time
in what feels like years.
Birds chirp in the distance,
shaking the water from their wings
so that they may fly,
take flight and soar
through the endless sky.
Just as I
shake off my guilt and my sorrow,
shedding them like an old coat
that just doesn't fit right anymore,
and turn them into
what I can only call hope.

It is no longer raining,
but now I lay in the blades of greener grass,
warming under the sun
as I watch the day pass.
Time slows and regains meaning,
and finally I have regained feeling.
Soon enough my eyes start to close,
as sleep takes over me.
At last I dream happy dreams,
filled with the hope
of how things will change,
of how things can finally be.
For the first time in forever,
I feel completely free.