I am An open book Made up of the ashes Of fantastic people and books Of miraculous animals and fantastical structures Of civilizations grander than I could ever conceive Civilizations burned down specifically To create the pages That I am "Buy a building to burn, sirs! Triple your investment when we build this child!" They wasted a **** good concept on me And I didn't fail To let them down
That's right, I came from ashes But I'm nowhere near a Phoenix Cut me and I'll bleed The ceremonial color of a man Whose last will and testament Is that no one he knows will see him Cry so hard and so long That the dying is over long before The tears are through And when the blood and tears mingle Sense is lost Because Spielberg's AI was not that sad And no one understands why Okay? Okay. Hits me the way it does
They used to say that illness sprang From bad blood I know inside I'm terrible And maybe that's why I love Donating blood That on a deep subconscious level I try to purge my impurities Through my borderline masochism A vampire girlfriend would suit me just fine I think to myself And I pump in the sleeve Take from the vein all you desire And my eyes roll back What a ******* ******
"Don't judge me" I tell them Half-joking So the sincerity in the concern is mistaken For a good leg-pulling I am aware and scared of what people think In a secret sort of way The kind that's alright as long as No one knows Because when they know They'll control you And you, helpless to your worry Will stress and believe everything "I don't want to be hated" Be non-committal See both sides Don't vote for anyone, tell them you have to go Take a stand, ******* I am a spineless ******* Who is trying so hard to grow a spine You can be emotional and have a spine But some days I would rather just have a spine And the will to speak
Arrogance is a virtue According to my mind It compensates feelings of intense insecurity With bouts of arrogance Founded in the juvenile feeling of "Everyone *****! I'm the best!" Which is only thinly veiling "Why the **** do I continue to be a waste Of oxygen and space? This is what my shoelaces Are for. . ." But I don't want to be left hanging in the wind Feet kicking off the chains of mortality And accepting the un-existence Of my destined oblivion
I am A self-fulfilling prophecy Written on the charred bones Of civilizations grander than I could ever conceive "He will grow until he doesn't Live until he doesn't Think until he doesn't And when the stars are aligned In the perfect triangle He will exist as an entity Until he doesn't" I cannot escape this fate But I can ease my mind from The horrors of pre-destination By being defiant And every once in a while Live even when I don't Think and exist and grow All while not doing any of them I will do what cannot be done Because my life deserves the illusion Of control