I can never feel the thing i say
and what I write is just a shade
a patch of color without an outline

The outline was carried away by smoke one night
that night she cried
that night she loved
that night she did nothing at all
they were all the same night

This past year has been that night
i fell asleep
I feel asleep
i want to wake up
but if I did, what would happen to this dream?
these familiar colors
this familiar air.
I feel as if I wake up
there will be no air
or worse, no color.

I'll make excuses about the stars
i'll say i never want my eyes to stray
i'll say i never want to go away
but i'm still not here

I'll say
"leave me,
this heart needs to bleed
else how could it beat?"
I'll eat a star to burn my heart.
to teach it to beat while it burns
under rising smoke

I apologize if you're scared by sparks