The people who mean the most to me are no longer the people who they use to be. Some days are easier than others when trying to deal with this fact. Some days the pain subsides & I'm able to put those haunting thoughts away, but then there are those days..these nights..when the pain feels as though it's tearing through my chest.. As if its death grip is grabbing a hold of my heart & squeezing the life right out of it.

My life is a mixed up mess of what once was & what is yet to be, & this struggle is taking its toll on me right now.

I ******* hate this disease more than anything in this world