There's a part of me
With fantasies of who I want to be
A part that wants to live my life,
Take risks,
Go anywhere, everywhere
Just to get away from here
Let go of my past
And my scars,
Start anew,
Learn new things and find what's true
Eat when I'm hungry
Then stop when I'm satisfied
Start a conversation with strangers,
Be a leader instead of a passenger
This is who I would love to be

But then there is who I really am
The part of me who's always ******
The girl who can't stop dwelling on the past
And is scared of the future
And she's not to fond of the present either
Always expecting another disaster
Who stays in bed all day
Only getting up to binge and purge
Who can't even do simple things without having an anxiety attack
Can't even use a phone, how ****** up is that?
Who'll never go anywhere
Because she can't escape the thoughts she has
She'll always be a follower
Forever a **** pushover
She looks in the mirror and hates herself
And that girl will always be me