‘i feel violated’ she said with a laugh
flirting at the boy who just poked her
as I stared from across the table
the words repeating in my brain
like a broken record
he smiled and said “you like it”

She agreed

I wanted so badly to stand up and yell
to stand up and yell until my lungs gave up
until I got my point across
but I knew it would never happen

you don’t know violation until you stand in the shower
for hours, crying
praying, praying to someone you have no faith in
that maybe the pain will stop
you don’t know violation until you scrub what’s left of your self-worth
off of your chafing skin and the inside of your *******
although you know you’ll never wear them again
you don’t know violation until you have to cover up the bruises
with sweaters and long jeans and makeup
in the middle of august
you don’t know violation until you stay up all night
because the feeling of his hands and himself against you
prevents even the slightest hope of sleep
and what rest you get is plagued by the thoughts of his cocky smile
and the cold steel he placed on your neck and on the back of your head
you don’t know violation until you find a new love
yet you’re so **** terrified when he touches you
that you shrink back and start to shake
even if all he wanted was to stroke your cheek
and to tell you how beautiful you are
even if he meant everything he said
it still takes so much time to trust him
and you don’t know violation until you open up to your family
the ones you trust
and all they do is warn you not to dress so inappropriately
don’t you know how a boy’s mind works
don’t be a harlot
you don’t know violation
until your innocence is taken away from you
and in society’s eyes
you’re the only one to blame