They say that " What doesn't **** you makes you stronger "
I would like to say you made me stronger
But I think you bored holes and dug crevices in my heart
And as I pump your presence throughout me
You rush into every tendon, every sinew, every fiber of me.
I guessed I became you.

I didn't want to be a monster initially
I had no idea that my pulse would weaken
With every smile i cracked, every word I exchanged with you.
I didn't know when I lost my pulse, the exact moment my heart gave up the struggle.
I thought you tasted like ambrosia
But you are toxic - deadly - to my soul.
I didn't want to admit it when you left my side,
But I guessed a small part of me knew that you had poisoned me with darkness.

When he took over your presence,
I didn't want to let him in.
I am afraid that when he take my hand in his,
He would find no pulse.
I can foresee his shock and his apprehension
How long can I hide that my heart no longer beats for anyone?

You left me, but you left parts of you with me.
Your coldness, your detachedness and your darkness.
I can't look into his eyes, can't look through those tinted hazel brown windows to discover more.
I am afraid that I will steal his soul
And like you, maybe I would not give it back.