I like being sick cause then I loose weight
I can ignore the pain and ignore the hate

I cant separate the joy from confusion
I don't want to be another tool that you are using

I mark my calendar days crossing off each one
Waiting for the year to end wanting it to be done

Your words mix and jumble in my head
I am dying inside when I should be living instead

I am rising like a storm at sea
Waiting till I am strong enough to set myself free

I rage and boil and smoke inside
I remember all the other times I tried

I failed back then will I fail now
I stand in a room with a throne will I bow

I fall to my knees and utter my shame
I will hurt and take my blame

I speak like rain and poisoned drops
I want the sky to fall and not stop

It comes slow and it comes fast
I need it now it must last

I am lost on tiles of black
Wanting to look back

I am floating on tiles of white
Hidden, hiding in a curtain of fright

Its on a board smooth to touch
But the special effects are to much

Its a court a court of shame
And I will always take the blame