it wasn't even a special day when I decided to love you
it was a tuesday and you were at my house
and our legs touched under unwashed sheets
and i imagined that touch
on someone else

i curled my arms tighter around you
and you wheezed
as If me, a boa constrictor
was suffocating you

you didn't kiss my face
or turn to face me
your breath just huffed

and your leg trailed further up mine

and i wondered if you could hear my beating heart
or the beating distance louder