you asked me what i was hiding
as i stood in your door way
naked
with my arms
wrapped around my ribs;

i smiled lightly and
dropped them to my sides

i know you thought

i was insecure
but i never told you
that i was just

trying
to feel my stomach
turning
or my heart racing,

warmth from my limbs

or a shortness of breath
from the tightening
of them-

any reassurance
that i hadn't
gone

completely

numb,

because that look in
your eyes
used to make

my palms
sweat
and my spine
straighten

but
lately
all i feel
is
this
eerie
exhaustion