I don't know what true love is and perhaps I never will,
All because I let you take from me everything I had to give.
I trusted you just to get ****** in the ***!
I gave you my all
Heart, body, and soul,
And in doing that it has left me with this empty, relentless hole.
I no longer feel.
I have no tears left to cry.
I don't even have the innate ability any longer to try.
I've been defeated time after time.
Having my heart stolen with no one but me paying
for that crime.
I've begged and pleaded on my knees,
And still you asked more of me!
I've lost me in all this for sure so tell me
Now does anyone have the cure?!
I give and give,
So you take and take,
Which has left me feeling like I must be the fake...
I've done the time for the wrongs that I tried to make right,
And in doing so I'm left with nothing but awful spite.
My life with you was spent caged and tied,
Beaten and stripped of all my dignity and pride.
I had to live a lie just to be able to coincide with you in my life.
I've spent so many nights awake and aching,
Carrying my baggage of the goods you left damaged.
Defeated with nothing but my white flag waving,
And everyone of my hopes suddenly fading.
I have been dominated and violated to the fullest extent!
How could you be so bent?!
I hurt so bad inside and out as I lay in bed with my thoughts screaming out.
Intimidated and threatened until now I'm paranoid.
Seems like everyone's out to get me,
And for what I just don't know...
Because I have nothing to offer anyone, anymore.
Been taken for granted by everyone I know,
Yet I still possess this kindness of sorts.
What you did hasn't left me malicious or mean,
I just no longer believe in my own dreams.
Nightmares on the other hand I understand completely.
I know they are real because they can take a hold of me.
They wretchedly embrace me as they pull me down.
This is nothing but sheer agony all the time!
My scars I keep concealed like my heart with a shield,
As this pain in my soul can never be healed.
My eyes will never tell,
And the nothingness in my touch you will not be felt,
Because I'm the star actress in your stupid little show!
Just tell me what you want and I can be that for you.
But every time I look at myself in the mirror I will see no lies,
Just shame at what I've let happen to this once sweet heart of mine.
I could of made a good wife and mother someday,
But now that will remain nothing but a vague memory.
You spent all that was given,
And even though there's nothing left of me somehow I'm still living,
Dealing with all this affliction in my self reflection.
You are a thorn that has buried yourself so deep inside of me
that from it I will never escape and be free....
© Ashley Rodden. All rights reserved