the day we lost A
we all went without apples
and the doctors had a field day

Anna was completely lost
and she sounded like
a mathematical notion
gone wrong;
Ali had an identity crisis –
he wondered if he was Chinese

And horrors – we didn’t have any articles
so you couldn’t say “a pen”
and you could only say “’n oven”

The bills still came in as all days
(don’t you worry about that)
but World Soccer had to be cancelled
as they didn’t have a ball
And the women
they pulled the pants off the men
and laughed:
“Where are your *****? All you’ve got are blls!"

And so the appalling day rolled on
a-less and aimless

but hey, there was one consolation:
there were no arseholes  
leading the nations of the
world that day