Sometimes when I look at myself
all I can see is
ugly
worthless
slut
I learned this from you.
You taught me that nothing I ever did was good enough
not for you
or anyone else
I would never be enough
Most importantly, you taught me what love is
That to love someone
I have to give away everything I am
my confidence
my body
my self-worth
until I am only an empty shell of a person
so they can hold power over me
Sometimes
when I can’t find these pieces of me
I can see your face
contorted with rage
insistent, pleading until I obey
or
smirking, condescending
I can hear your voice
you can’t wear that, you look like a slut
I’m the only one who really loves you
*I did it for you, you owe me*
I don’t owe you anything.
I taught myself how to love who I am
Reassembling all the pieces that you stole from me
took everything I had but
I am beautiful.
I am loveable.
I am worth something.
No one can ever change that.