Sorry


I'm sorry to be the one to ask you this...
but ma,
can you UN-**** my father?
bring me "outta this world!" like the one night stand that brought me in.
or, well, what was supposed to be a one night stand.
which happened to turn into four years of his constant drunken stupor,
and then transformed into every other sunday for 5 years,
excluding the ones where he was too drunk to remember to show up of course,
I'm sorry to be the one to ask this,
but ma,
can you lower your expectations of me,
I'll never live up to them, or in my opinion live down to them.
That wasn't meant to be an insult, I just don't want to be you.
I don't want to spend my entire life stressed-out behind a desk,
And I don't want to know how to fix every problem but the ones that matter
because they matter,
I'm sorry to be the one to ask you this,
But life,
can you stop giving me good things,
I like being happy, doesn't everyone?
but I ruin everything good thing that I get,
it's like subconsciously I want to rip my own ******* throat out and serve it to myself on a platter,
Eat up… it'll **** ya!
I'm sorry to be the one to ask you this,
But is there a way to stitch a broken heart
put me back together,
wait I take that back,
don't,
I'll just get torn apart.
I'm sorry to be the one to ask you this
but me
can I put my throat back in for a sec
Give myself a chance at happiness for a change
stop stopping myself when I have a shot at something good
I'm sorry to be the one to ask you this
but life
I changed my mind
I want something good
Can I have that be on rushed delivery?
no
oh well i'd just ruin it anyway
I'm sorry to be the one to ask you this
but me
can you stop putting yourself down
no wonder you can do anything right
Can I do something right?
I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this,
but,
it's not that bad things happen to good people,
bad things happen to everyone,
it's just that your definition of a tragedy is not getting your hair straight enough,
not getting the new phone you want,
my tragedy is seeing that someone I care about is hurt,
I'm sorry to be the one to ask you this ,
but do you even care about me?
can't you see i'm hurt?
I'm sorry to be the one to ask you this,
but ,
can ya'll stop looking at me like i'm hurt,
It's not on the outside,
you won't be able to see it,
I'm sorry to be the one to ask you this,
But can I just hug you,
no not you,
sorry .
I'm sorry to be the one to ask you this,
but can you all just shut the **** up,
sometimes I want to listen to my thoughts,
or you know that scottish guy in my head,
he's pretty cool,
I'm sorry to be the one to ask you this,
but Scottish guy in my head,
Can you Shut the **** up,
I want to know what other people have to say,
I want to say what I have to say without being interrupted by myself,
I'm sorry to be the one to ask you this,
But me,
Can we stop contradicting myself,
uhm eh a wait,
Can I stop contradicting ourself,
uhm uh erm uhnn
You know what,
Can I just stick with a thought instead of fighting for both sides,
I'd be perfect for debate team, if it was a one person debate that is,
I'm sorry to be the one to ask you this
but
Can I stop fighting with myself?
can I have real feelings without telling myself they are fake?
I'm sorry to be the one to ask you this
but
are these feelings real?
I'm sorry to be the one to ask you this
but world
can you stop ******* me over
can you stop ******* me over
can you stop ******* me over
Can you stop?
I'm sorry