That is it
all over
Elaine thinks

on the bus
after school
she and John

and the kiss
all done with
everything

on the edge
her nerves wrought
as if each

hidden thought
was exposed
to everyone

silently
she sits near
the window

looking out
tears sitting
on the rims

of her eyes
like actors
impatient

to get on
to the stage
and perform

she’d seen John
walk on by
to get on

the school bus
he is there
across the

aisle sitting
looking out
as she is

wondering
what went wrong
what he’d said

or done wrong
at lunch time
on the field

at recess
he saw her
on the bus

sitting there
looking out
not at him

pretending
not to know
he is there

Goldfinch talks
beside him
some such stuff

in his ears
empty words
soft laughter

all John wants
is Elaine
to have her

near to him
her body
close and warm

not this cold
far distance
between them

Elaine feels
all undone
all exposed

each nerve taut
every
thought of John

being near
but not near
wanting him

next to her
as it was
before lunch

the bus moves
to go home
she watches

scene changes
vibrations
moving tears

to the edge
like fragile
suicides

thinking on
the long fall
but her love

bites deeply
all undone
can’t recall.