it’s really hard to up heave the way i feel at times

people try to cheer the environment with unsophisticated actions

you’d have to probe me to actually feel what “feelings” really are

see life is a ******* big gamble

you either risk it all to live a great life or a ****** life

then you have teen love, with the same view points and bam another what the ****

another story to tell your friends

most girls i know have neophyte like if they don’t know what to do

then they say **** when emotions kick in that’s incoherent

when love hits it’s hard to stay away, i’d rather ponder

when a door shuts be an opportunist to win things over and find the key

that’s like giving up and trying something new and ******* at it

i’ll stick to learning every instrument in an orchestra so i can make my own concerto

and i will, I’ve been waiting for 5 years to start the composing

and i am a genius, notes are colors, music is art

if Picasso would’ve been a musical genius the music would turn into colors, the sistine chapel would be a nice orchestral piece

so many what if’s in the world

like if 20 years past, and they made another bible, would i be in it?

cause i’m destined to be somebody, it’s a promise

people take insults in a very ***** way

you choose what to be offended by in other words

a girl gets called a ***** and cries

so somebody can call me a musical genius and cry

it’s really the way you take it up the ***

in some occasions words really are stronger than actions

can love get old?

does true love really wait?

understanding is vital to me, but taking time out of your day to read and examine my writing is even better to me

cause then people appreciate your intelligence and admire you in a way they can’t see

and all the moments that are bad all conclude and remind me of a small *******

publish thoughts draw music make art creativity is everywhere find it

it is now 2014, I wrote this 17 months ago and I'm suicidal